


i've got scars even though they can't always be seen

by kayleewrites



Category: One Direction
Genre: Angst, Boyfriends, Bruises, Cancer, Death, Depression, Illness, Leukemia, Love, M/M, Nosebleed, Sadness, Triggers, True Love, larry stylinson - Freeform, sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 19:01:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5303114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayleewrites/pseuds/kayleewrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Define fine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i've got scars even though they can't always be seen

Harry pressed his hand against Louis', his hands quickly moved to Louis' face, pulling him in for a kiss.

"I love you," Harry spoke as he kissed Louis.

"Mhm, I love you too." Louis yawned loudly, collapsing down onto his pillow.

This was the nightly routine, Louis was almost always tired, it didn't take Harry long to notice. Louis would spend the whole day sleeping, then be even more tired the next day. He didn’t even get up to eat, only to go to the bathroom and to cuddle Harry.

Harry didn’t think much of it, the boy was just tired.

...

Louis poked his finger into Harry’s cheek, “Wake up!” he almost screamed in Harry’s ear.

“What?” Harry turned his back to Louis.

“I want to talk.”

“Fine.” Harry was reluctant, but listened anyway.

“Promise you won’t tell anyone,” Louis wrapped his pinky finger around Harry’s.

“Promise.”

 

...

 

Louis thought back to the first time he received a mysterious bruise, it came out of nowhere. He touched the bruise softly, the pain he felt was the worst pain he had ever experienced. Louis was about 18 at the time, he didn't think much of it at first, maybe he had bumped into something he had forgotten about. 

The bruises started to multiply, Louis would find a new one every time he looked hard enough, they were small and painful. There weren't just bruises, Louis would knock slightly graze his leg or arm then start bleeding like there was no tomorrow. Louis didn't want to do anything any more, he was fearful of hurting himself. Harry hated this new Louis, he didn't want to do anything with Harry, just stay in bed all day. When Louis did get up, he was full of pain, he was weak. His bones were achy and stiff. 

 

...

 

"Louis?" Harry peaked through the door, "Are you okay?"

Louis rapidly turned his back to the door, he didn't want Harry to see him like this, his worst state. 

"I'm fine, really! I'll be out in a minute." Louis sniffled. 

"Are you sure?" Harry spoke softly, he was protective over Louis when he was sad, well, he was always protective.

"I'm sure, just go." 

 

When Louis found the strength to get out of bed, he went straight to the bathroom to cry, he hated this life he was living. Louis was in a vulnerable position, he didn't want this life any more. He wanted to be free, free from the pain and the sorrow. Louis sat on the floor, his head hung low and he cried quietly, hoping Harry wouldn't hear him. His tears were mixed with blood from his nose, his nose bled frequently since he fell sick. 

 

...

 

Harry had no clue what was happening with Louis, one day he was happy and active, the next tired and blue. Harry had assumptions, but kept them to himself. He didn't want to upset Louis, he was already upset enough. Harry was genuinely worried.

 

"Louis, what's wrong?" Harry would ask this frequently.

 "Nothing, I'm fine." 

"Define fine,"

"I'm fine, honestly." Both Louis and Harry knew this was a lie.

"Lou, why aren't you telling me what's wrong? I could help you."

"What am I supposed to tell you? There's nothing wrong!" Louis didn't want to argue.

"There is something wrong, you're not acting normal, what's happened to you?"

"I don't know."

 

Harry didn't say any more.

 

...

 

Louis did know what was wrong with him. He was sick, he was dying. He couldn't tell Harry, Harry would want him to get treatment, but it was all too much for Louis. 

"If it's my time to go, it's my time to go, there's nothing I can do about it." He'd tell himself. There really wasn't anything he could do, he'd be in more pain if he had decided to go through with the treatment. 

 

......

 

 

"Lou, come on, get up!"

No answer.

"Louis?  I know you're awake!" Harry giggled.

No answer.

"I've got a surprise for you." Harry knew this would catch Louis' attention.

No answer.

"What? Louis, stop, you're scaring me." 

No answer.

Harry pressed his head to Louis' chest, he heard nothing. Harry started to panic, 'Maybe I didn't listen right.' He thought to himself. His head went back onto Louis' chest. Harry could hear nothing. He put his index finger on Louis' neck, he felt nothing. 

 

...

 

Louis was announced deceased at 23:11, aged just 20.  He didn't even say goodbye. 

 

...

 

  _Harry,_

 

_I'm sorry I didn't tell you, if I did you'd want me to get treatment, the chemotherapy wouldn't cause pain to just myself but to you also. I'm sorry._

_I never experienced love before meeting you, I thought love was something present in only storybooks and movies. You taught me that love isn't just for fairytales and romance movies. Love exists._

_You're so beautiful Harry, I'm truly in love with you. Thank you for being you and thank you for caring. If there's one thing I'll miss after I've passed it's those late night chats we had. You made me feel so safe._

 

 


End file.
